It is with great
that I ask you to accept this letter as my official resignation from Yahoo!
My last day here will be two weeks from todaytomorrow the best day of my life you fucking incompetent nincompoops, after which time I shall be taking a position with Googlewith Microsoftwith Applewith Pheltupas a freelancerthat doesn't require me to bend over and lube up.
As you know, for some time now I have been desiring more time with my familya more challenging positionyou guys quit destroying all my net worth and thus I feel the time has finally arrived for me to move ontake a new directiontell you to go fuck yourself. And of course, I would not be forthright if I failed to mention how much it distressedsaddeneddumbfounded me to see some of the moves management has made in recent weeksmonthsyears.
For example, I found
the recent advertising agreement reached with Google
Mr. Yang's poisoning of the MSFT bid with disregard to his shareholders
pretty much everything Terry Semel did to be unwiseill-advisedfucking retarded. Furthermore, as I have watched management squander once-valuable properties such as FlickrDeliciousUpcomingmy vested shares of Yahoo! stock, I have come to realize that management does not seem to fully understand social mediahow to make a profitsearchhow to run a fucking taco truck, much less an actual, you know, $30 billion business.
Thus, I am tendering my resignation as of today. If you would like me to sign a non-compete clause, I will be glad to do so, seeing as my new position is in a different market segmentyou guys are fucking dead in the water anyway.
YOUR NAME HERE