the birdman cometh

Banter? I just met her...

 

 

Thursday, February 28, 2002

I saw a woman wearing a short skirt getting her shoes shined today. She sat up in the chair and the man shined her shoes...she was wearing a skirt...a short, short skirt...she was up in the chair...he was standing...shining her shoes. This was extremely disturbing to me.

My conclusions:
1.She wasn't thinking.
2.She has a crush on the shoe shine guy.
3.She is a "Basic Instinct" fanatic.
4.She just doesn't care.
5.She has a shoe shine fetish.
6.She needed a shine, and an early morning dose of "in your face" voyeristic pleasure.

I love this city.

sez jeffrey saunders on 10:22 AM link me





Wednesday, February 27, 2002

"Music Makes Me Lose Control"

It is late, 2 people lay tracks, getting everything perfect, I am tired. If I am going to play we must start soon. Tracks are laid, recordists' leave, guitar plugs in. So much raw power. My pant legs flutter as I scrape the strings. The drummer slams as the beat engulfs my physical reality. I transcend. My body and brain speak only to my fingers, they forward the message to my ears. I observe myself playing: watching, listening, critiquing, enjoying, pitying, consoling: proud. Sweat drips, fingers bleed, I am oblivious. I am drunk on sound.
Music invades, envelopes, enshroudes, enshrines, intrigues, intrudes, entrusts, enrages, engages, inflates, infuriates.
I am irate, why did I start this eight months ago? I have missed out on 25 years of learning the art of making music. I have missed out on the feeling for 25 years. It has been right in front of me and accessible for 25 years, yet I chose to ignore it. Until now.
Picking up my first guitar and strumming it for the first time was the best decision I ever made. Ever. I have opened a door for a lifetime of learning. Constant learning. Everyday I am eager to make sounds sound good. New sounds, my sounds. My happy place. Heaven on earth. No one can take that from me. I have blessed myself. I have found a lifelong friend who will never leave me, who operates on my terms.
Make noise, express yourself, express your unique self. It is the most valuable thing I own, it fills the gaps and makes me whole. "Music makes me lose control."

sez jeffrey saunders on 10:14 AM link me





Tuesday, February 26, 2002

The Grammies Are A Shamm...y

The Grammies are so worthless. There is no music of merit at these "look how great I am and my song and record, which Quincy Jones wrote, produced, engineered, etc..." sequined, show off conventions. The industry votes on who wins, not the record buying public, so who the hell cares? I sure don't. Well except for the parts where the girls wear clothes you can see through, that's fun for me.
But come on,"Train" has been nominated for five Grammies; FIVE!! Including "best song" and (It makes me wanna hit something, hard) best record! What a joke. Those guys suck. The band sucks, the music sucks, the songs suck, and the album sucks. They are just like every band from the Gin Blossoms to Blink 182. Train is a horrible, horrible band and it is too bad that everyone knows that excpet the Grammy people and 12-15 year old boys and girls who buy the album.

Grammies go away...the Oscars are the only legitimate awards show around.

sez jeffrey saunders on 10:06 AM link me





Monday, February 25, 2002

Vacations

Now that my best friends Mat and Harper have returned from their trip to San Felipe, Mexico, I have decided that I need to take a vacation. Not a long weekend but a two week sabbatical to somewhere where time seems to go slow or even stand still.
Mat and Harper have returned and have somewhat of a "tabula rasa" outlook on their day to day lives here in this hectic city. They have that glow again and are refreshed and reborn, if you will. I need that, I MUST get that back. I feel as if I am in a rut of sorts. I am cranky and moody too much these days and I really think it is time for a "car wash with the works."

San Felipe...hmmmm. Anybody wanna go? I'm buyin.'

Wait...No I'm not.

sez jeffrey saunders on 10:57 AM link me





Friday, February 22, 2002

Cookies and milk
Silver and gold
water and freezer
Damn, that shits' cold.

sez jeffrey saunders on 2:45 PM link me





Thursday, February 21, 2002

I am working on something new and ...well not improved but, I don't think anyone has ever done it before.

It's nothing of the sexual nature, I assure you.

Yes...I assure you.

Stay tuned......

sez jeffrey saunders on 11:00 PM link me





Wednesday, February 20, 2002

Scrilla

Money is the root of all evil...especially when you don't have any.

sez jeffrey saunders on 10:54 AM link me





Tuesday, February 19, 2002

KBK

Well, Ezra and I wrote a lament for Kool Bobby to come back to us but we were a day late and a dollar short, but here is the song anyway.

sez jeffrey saunders on 10:35 AM link me





Friday, February 15, 2002

Snuffiluffigus would whoop Puffinstuff
Scritti Politti would whoop Hello Kitty
Kermit would whoop Dylan Mcdermott
Thor would whoop Al Gore
Snoopy would whoop Sloopy
Flanders would whoop the Granimals
The Slestacks would whoop Godsmack
Danelectro would whoop Gordon Gecko
Wondertwins would whoop Replicants.

sez jeffrey saunders on 10:13 AM link me





Thursday, February 14, 2002

Today is just like any other day.

I'm Going Fishing.

sez jeffrey saunders on 9:29 AM link me





Wednesday, February 13, 2002

BB Gun Wars With One Gun

My brother and I used to have BB gun wars with eachother, eventhough we only had one Daisy Red Rider. It was Jay's so he got first dibs.
"You better start running."
"That's not fair Jay!"
"It will hurt more from here than from way ouy there."
I begin to run and get hit by a bb square in the ass. I keep running because I know more are coming. I finally make it to a small indentation in the yard and lie down. I can see Jay aiming at me. He has to aim high because the Red Rider isn't the most high powered rifle. The bb's arc towards me with a delay reflex. "Pop!" The shot fires out, one, two, three, four. "Owwww! Dammit, that hurt." I yell. "Run around more!" Jay commands. "Huh-uh." I cry. I get up and start to run and am pelted by a barrage of slow arching bb's that rarely miss their target.

Finally, Jay gets tired and bored of shooting me and tells me he is done. "Sweet!" I yell, welts begining to throb. "Now it's my turn." "I'm sick of this game." Jay says defiantly. "I'm not playing anymore." "That's bullshit! I get to shoot at you now." I desperately chortle. "Yeah right, like I'm gonna let you shoot at me. What are you stupid? We only have one gun!" Jay walks back inside confidently, gun in hand.

"MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA...! Jay won't let me shoot at him..." "Shut up you crybaby."

It's rough being a little brother.


sez jeffrey saunders on 11:38 AM link me





Tuesday, February 12, 2002

Thinkin' Bout Last Night

I went and saw David Byrne at the Fillmore and it was the best show I have seen in years. The guy is an incredible showman and musician. He had the crowd in a frenzy for over 2 and 1/2 hours playing old favorites and new soon to be hits. I am grateful that my friends persuaded me to go. It was well worth the $30 ticket. If you ever get a chance to see him I suggest you check it out. He even sang in Spanish...very cool.

sez jeffrey saunders on 9:08 AM link me





Monday, February 11, 2002

Monday is Bad

Especially this one. Maybe it is just the word "Monday."
"Tuesday" is much better, and even better is "Wednesday."

What if our weekends were Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday.
Would we all hate Thursday?

I think so. Down with Thursday.

What day is it?

sez jeffrey saunders on 10:34 AM link me





Friday, February 08, 2002

Here is our latest live show.

Part One

Part Two

sez jeffrey saunders on 4:05 PM link me





Sinister Minister

Bad sinner, condiment hater,
blog stater, temperment translator,
baseball saviour, Ibanez castigator.

Stubborn propagator, dream authenticator,
Fairy Tale narrarator, bullshit eradicator,
Preacher syndicator, community consumator.

It ain't easy bein' da Minister. I'm sinista'.


sez jeffrey saunders on 3:10 PM link me





Thursday, February 07, 2002

I want my own "Beakdip" line of clothing.

Once again emptyage has beaten us all to the punch.

"Damn it feels good to be a gangsta."

sez jeffrey saunders on 10:13 AM link me





Wednesday, February 06, 2002

You Be Myself
That's all she gave you? Yeah. Are you sure? What do you mean am I sure...of course I'm sure.
No, no I was just under the impression that the box would be bigger. Jesus, what's up Mr. Greedy Gimmemenson. You know it is not the size of the box...Spare me will you, you have no idea...About what? Forget it. Wait, you let me smell the appetizer now I get to sample the entree. Listen, your witty little aphorisms are so childish and, honestly, fucking stupid. They make you look more like a jackass than the intellectual you are trying to be. I'm not TRYING to be anything! Well then, be yourself elsewhere.

sez jeffrey saunders on 10:31 AM link me





Tuesday, February 05, 2002

"You're too genuine, you jerk."-MR

sez jeffrey saunders on 9:36 AM link me





Monday, February 04, 2002

HAMoTAM
Well, 3/5ths of HAMoTAM performed at Cafe International for our second open mic stint there on Friday. We played well. The crowd was extremely subdued, peppered with acoustic guitar performances and singers without accompaniment. That is until HAMoTAM took the stage. Armed with a bass and electric guitar and Matthew's slammin' robotic beats, we turned it up a notch and the crowd responded. People were into it but the crowd's energy just didn't reach that next plane. I can't help it if they don't get it but we are definately a force to be reckoned with. I am currently working on getting the show up on the Banter, hopefully I can get that done tomorrow but...

Nice job Ezra and Matthew. As always I count my lucky stars to be playing with ya'll. Everyday I tell myself how privledged I am to create a new sound with such artistic, creative, and talented brothers. I just wish Mat and Harper could have been with us to share in such a great event.

Keep your eyes on the road and your hands on the radio.

b

sez jeffrey saunders on 5:08 PM link me





Friday, February 01, 2002

Hi There

Me llamo Jefe, Como te llamas?
Soy Isabella.
Es una novella?
Si, de Juan Acapella.
Que?
Juan Acapella, sabes, "El hombre de Pocatella."
No lo se...y que es "Pocatella?"
Nunca iba a Idaho? Hay que bella!

Damn dude, your Spanish sucks.
I know, but at least it rhymes.

Happy Friday


sez jeffrey saunders on 10:21 AM link me







 

 

 























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